This is a report of an experience I had with philipino psychic surgeons on July 11th 2015 in Bagiou.
So I took a taxi to visit Wilson and Brother Laurence at 9am. When I arrived there was Wilson there with 3 other Filipino people, a mother and her daughter who looks about 8 years ago and a man who looks to be in his mid 20’s.
Wilson tells me that the girl used to have a large tumour on her head and they have been working on her every day for a year and that the tumour is no longer there, but there are still issues to deal with and so that is why she comes in.
So Wilson, the mother and daughter and I go into the healing room. I ask Wilson if it is ok if I take photos and videos and he says it is fine. So this is the first time I actually see the blood coming from the girls body, it is one thing to see it on youtube of course, and another to see it in person. I notice Wilson makes these cracking sounds as well, as his hands are pushed into her body. He is going into points which correspond to the solar plexus chakra and heart chakra. It is all very quick, all over in just a couple of minutes.
Then the young man comes into the healing room, and I record his healing on video, which I will post later. Wilson pulls something out of his solar plexus you can see very clearly. I find it harder to believe it is some chicken gizzards, than what he says it is! Actually, they don’t really say what this fleshy bloody stuff is. I keep asking, what is this stuff? Where does it come from? They always seem to evade the question and talk about having a good mind and living a good life free of bad thoughts etc.
After that, I go outside and Brother Laurence is there and I show him the Schizandra Berries, Palo Santo and special herbal tea I have brought as a gift for him and Wilson, which he appreciates as he says it is something new.
Then I go into the healing room, take off all my clothes this time, except for my boxer shorts and lie on my front. This time as Brother Laurence puts his hands on my lower back, I recognise a sense of trepidation, not a fear of a power, but my body recognising something greater, being subject to it. Then when IT comes in, there is relaxation. I don’t have the feeling at all of any penetration of the flesh, but those same squelching, gristly sounds are there. And I can definitely feel the liquidity of the blood now.
Again, Brother Laurence leads the way, with Wilson backing up with mopping up blood and touching with some medium pressure points and areas on my back and legs. It is only a few minutes and then put some waxy oil on my body and give me what they call magnetic healing, which I presume is more the energetic aspect. It is good and there is much touch and good massage involved with it too, it feels very balancing. They are talking about my nervous system and what is going on here.
Then they get me to sit up, and touch more some areas. Then ask if they can sing a song and I say great! Brother Laurence puts his palm on the back of my left shoulder blade and they both sing the sonorous song. The song is like a prayer to god, asking god to bring this man what he needs, for his healing. It is like an invocation, a calling. At the end of the song, Brother Laurence makes a prayer, and asks for assistance in healing me, to bring all that he needs to do in order for the healing to occur.
Then I put on my clothes and I say I think I have learnt some things here, about prayer and invocation. Brother Laurence, said yes, there is the lords prayer and so on, but it is best if you use your heart and mind in the moment to call in what is needed.
After that, we go back to his desk and Brother Laurence puts more palo santo on the charcoal block and eats a few schizandra berries. It turns out there are no more people coming today, when I thought there would be dozens. I wonder why is “business” not so good? I saw a youtube video of William Nanog treating dozens of people with big queues.
Brother Laurence and Wilson seem a little bit awkward or insecure about the lack of crowds. They keep mentioning Jun Labo and William Nanog, and say some people visit either Jun or William and don’t feel anything and then come to them and start really feeling the healing. At this point, I am sticking with them, as they are really giving me unique individual attention, even though I’d like to experience other healers like William Nanog.
Then we all get in the van and drive off, as they saw they are visiting some people to give them healing. Brother Laurence says about the healing, he doesn’t really focus on going inside the body, it is not really about that, he says. It is what the spirits do, which is beyond him. My sensation today, seeing the blood, I think it wasn’t the result of the body opening up, insomuch as the blood being expelled from the body, toxins coming out through the blood.
And so they drive me to tourist centre where I ask about this pink church, where the virgin cries and people have reported miracles. Then I take a taxi there, arrive at this big pink church, go inside and there is a silent nun facing away from the chapel, silent in prayer, with one other woman there on my left. I sit down at the pew, and go into prayer. I don’t pray much, I have used it to get out of very sticky situations, but at that point I just sit down and almost automatically go into invocations and prayer for humanity, and myself, for all the good things to manifest. In my interior vision I see a vision of Jesus on the cross and am “told” to make the sign of the cross, which I do, as a marker of respect for this presence. I leave quite soon, as it is as if the presence has visited me and then left!
Paul Kain, who put me onto these psychic healers, does work with invocations as well, and experiencing his work recently reminded me I used to be really into invocations. But I eventually found them to be too artificial. Or recently, I made a prayer for this journey I presently have, to make my way through it. Eventually, my right toe twitched, the message being, you are being looked after here, there is no need for worry or you don’t necessarily need to call in any assistance.
There is another thing that has struck me today, as this clearing occurs, I feel more myself. Today I could start to feel more cooked right away, slowed down, but more solid and secure. And letting go of these gimpy, gollum-esque denials of the power, having all the power in the world, but being a victim to it, weighed down by, it working against you and your idea and inaction of yourself. The inverse is owning it, really owning this power, and claiming it. And that is where the healing is, becoming functional in the sense of universal beingness, not the contractive power of the gollum-esque ego.
These last few years I’ve really been going into how I feel about myself. Into the deep work of going into esteem and self worth. I don’t think too many people really do this work, I’ve only known a few who have really gone into it, maybe you just need too much time to contemplate this stuff. (Spiritual bypassing and egotism is much more common!) Also, it is very hard, it takes you into such a delicate, vulnerable place that few humans are wiling to enter into it, either just by themselves or with another. You need to be really strong to give up the artifices of the armour and be naked, and then you find yourself in a space which could be perceived as profoundly lonely. But I’ve found you must stick with it, it is the only place which is real, and by virtue of being in that place, you will be met there. And that meeting will be real and truly touch your soul, unlike just carrying on just being a knock around bloke say!
Also, I’ve come to feel a lot of this insecurity and inferiority, is related to the condition of the soul, the toxic culture of fantasy, comparison and FOMO we are involved in as a reaction. But more than this, there actually being toxic elements within that are talking to us, and we interpret this as weakness or insecurity or inferiority, but it is just telling us what needs to be looked and seen and made clear. Most people just sweep it all under the rug and choose not to listen and see that it is possible to listen and make internal adjustments.
Most people hide in a shell, in a superficial mask, or as Audrey Hepburn says, a false and forced definitiveness, which is a lie.
“You can say my definiteness stems from underlying feelings of insecurity and inferiority. I couldn’t conquer these feelings by acting indecisive. I found the only way to get the better of them was by adopting a forceful, concentrated drive.”
You can’t conquer feelings, only feel them, and listen to them. And that listening and consequent doing is so intricate and complex that it requires total focus, and most are often otherwise distracted. Most people are so into the roadshow of ego and dick sizing, even these healers here seem to be a victim to this hierarchy of power, when they all know it is not them! Oh, the paradox!
All this is really emblematic of just not being secure and solid in yourself, and needing validation from others. Even the ayahuascaros in South America, they are all into getting this validation and attention and status! And even fight about it, harm each other for it!
But being a pioneer and ahead of your time, means not so many are really going to understand what you are on about anyway, and so you must have security in yourself and what you are doing in order to be a pioneer. When you come out with really new stuff, often the only sound you will hear is crickets, and it might take a decade or two for anyone to pay any attention – if any even comes at all! (of course, when you are dead, people don’t fear they have to give their power away to you, to truly listen to what you said!)
And I know I don’t really need this validation or attention, even though it is not unpleasant when it is there, as I do experience it these days. This weekend is Breaking Convention conference in England, the biggest psychedelic conference in the world. I didn’t apply to go, as to be honest, it is in England and that paradigm is so heady and theoretical that it doesn’t obviously appeal.
Part of me, feels I maybe should be there, getting some recognition for this work I have done, such as my book! Which is still not as well known as it could be. And at least being among the maybe half a dozen real peers I have in this work, and maybe meeting more, many of whom are not truly recognised, and instead we have a lot of quite theoretical speakers claiming their share of the limelight, and often just tarrying with the status quo.
But you know, I don’t want attention and recognition – even approval. Real love is the Real Thing, and even then, I don’t crave it or seek it, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T! You can only do the work, in yourself, and in Christian terms, get closer to god and get out of the ego, if you want to know what intimacy is. And really, I’m most of all into deep fulfilment, and experiencing the radiance and glory of life, of attempting to being functioning and having meaning in being in the right place at the right time. And that is really the world of beginners mind for me, I can’t see how you can master human life, only get ready to meet its inevitable curve balls and do the best you can to be proactive and flexible in the face of it all.
So this is what I am seeing and respecting in Wilson and Brother Laurence, at the end of the day, it is their submission and humility, their understanding that it is a higher power moving through them, that they are merely vessels.
Funny that day, I decide to go have lunch at The Manor, a big expensive hotel in Camp John Hay, the set lunch is probably cheaper that most lunches I have in Australia and it is very good. As I’m being doted upon by the waitstaff, arrives a whole big filipino military contingent right next to me, at the head of the table is a top military man, “The General” with heaps of medals, gold lapels and his family and other high ranking military men on the table as well. Just watching them is hilarious, watching the power hierarchy, the primordial pecking order of humanity. “The general” looks insecure, searching, always on edge, nervous and I wonder what he knows about life?
Really big doses of psychedelics are handy for breaking down this edifice, really blasting through the ego and being exposed to the vastness of the I AM presence, and that is when you can align with the divine will of the I AM presence, which becomes revealed as the default primal motivating force. And nothing is as tasty, powerful, interesting or TRUE as the truth, being the truth.